So you’ve had a bad day. Everything that could go wrong did. For example, let’s use a day I had awhile back.
I awoke late (my alarm clock didn’t go off – I’m sticking to that story), quickly dressed and headed out to work on a Saturday morning. At that time I worked in a law office and was having to do some overtime on a case that was in trial. When I got to my car, it had a flat tire. Okay, I said to myself, I’ll just change it. That presented the second problem. Where did I keep the jack?
I called my auto service. Twenty-five minutes later, flat tire fixed, I was on my way. Thinking that since I was late anyway, I may as well swing into the local fast-foodery and grab a cup of coffee as I hadn’t had my usual cup before leaving home.
Pulling into the drive-thru I ordered the coffee and a breakfast sandwich to eat on the way. Grabbing the cup from the attendant, I accidentally tapped it against the steering wheel which presented the third problem. Hot coffee all over my lap and the white suit that I was wearing.
Forget the coffee and sandwich, head back home to change clothes (black this time just in case) and head back to the office. Upon reaching my parking lot, I’m praying for a spot close to the building but as you’ve already guessed, I had no such luck. I was lucky to even get the last spot at the farthest distance from the building. No problem though. The temperature was only a balmy minus 10 that morning. If I hurried, they might find my frozen body halfway across the parking lot.
Then, as I’m doing a half run, half walk across the lot, I spot a man. He’s not bad to look at so at least that’s the first plus I’ve had all morning. Maybe my day was turning around after all. I had made up my mind to say a cheery hello when we got close enough. I’m usually a shy person (oh, come on, yes I am) and so I have to think about doing something like that before I actually do it.
Anyway, just as we got close enough, I opened my mouth to say hello and at that precise moment, he opened his overcoat to say hello! Whatever possesses a man to be a flasher in minus 10 degrees? Does anybody have the answer to that question?
Well, I’d had it. I began to laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. Really, it was that funny. Everything that could have gone wrong already had. And now, on top of all that, this man insists on showing me his private parts.
I distinctly remember saying something about how the poor “little” thing needed a stocking cap to help keep it warm because it was already turning blue.
The last words I heard were “You @#*& bitch” as he hurried on his way.
My day improved 100% after that because everytime I thought about my “flasher” I started laughing until tears ran down my cheeks.
At this point you’re probably wondering what does that story have to do with comfort food? Well, I went home that night and baked myself a Triple Chololate Double Fudge cake. After all, I deserved it. Didn’t I?